WHEN (*not IF) I get The Vaccine, I’ll think about…. ⁣

My first patient who died from COVID for whom I held the phone to his ear for him to hear his wife and sons voice while taking his last breaths. I sobbed standing with him holding his hand. ⁣

Every body bag I zipped up— knowing that persons entire life— all their memories, passions, fears, and past loves was summed up in that one moment. When I closed the door on their life. ⁣

Every fellow nurse and healthcare provider who felt completely broken and defeated by this virus. ⁣

Every patient we had to upgrade care to the ICU from acute medicine⁣

Every provider conversation I overheard discussing code status and goals of care with family members of decompensating patients needing intubation. ⁣

And most importantly…⁣

I’ll think of my grandmother, who was crippled by the Polio Virus at age 18 before there was a vaccine to prevent it. Polio has been eradicated because of this. ⁣

I will cry when I receive the vaccine. ⁣
Because this is a win for us. ⁣
If you think otherwise, you haven’t been at the bedside. ⁣

#bedsidevoices #covidvaccine #covidnurse #nyccovid19