WHEN (*not IF) I get The Vaccine, I’ll think about….
My first patient who died from COVID for whom I held the phone to his ear for him to hear his wife and sons voice while taking his last breaths. I sobbed standing with him holding his hand.
Every body bag I zipped up— knowing that persons entire life— all their memories, passions, fears, and past loves was summed up in that one moment. When I closed the door on their life.
Every fellow nurse and healthcare provider who felt completely broken and defeated by this virus.
Every patient we had to upgrade care to the ICU from acute medicine
Every provider conversation I overheard discussing code status and goals of care with family members of decompensating patients needing intubation.
And most importantly…
I’ll think of my grandmother, who was crippled by the Polio Virus at age 18 before there was a vaccine to prevent it. Polio has been eradicated because of this.
I will cry when I receive the vaccine.
Because this is a win for us.
If you think otherwise, you haven’t been at the bedside.
#bedsidevoices #covidvaccine #covidnurse #nyccovid19
